Down By The River

Sometimes you have a long couple of weeks and your husband comes home and says, "Let's forget everything and go to the river" and if you have any brains at all, you drop what you're doing and say "okay" and 7 minutes later you're on your way. This experience is extremely enhanced by purchasing 2 pairs of $5 sunglasses on the same day, and trying the pink ones on your 2 year old son. And should the "let's drop everything" thing and the sunglasses thing not be enough, one should arm said 2 year old son with a king size chocolate candy bar. And thus you will have the greatest day ever. While not what some doctors would have ordered, it's totally what this doctor ordered, and let's face it, I'm totally smart enough to be a doctor.

Easter In Review

We are all over our sicknesses, minus a sniffle or a cough here and there. Hallelujah! And thanks everyone for your concern. :)

{My little man ready for church on Easter Sunday}

Our Easter ended up being pretty great, but if I'm being honest (and I am) it didn't start out too well. I woke up with left over feelings of sadness, frustration, and anger from a silly conversation with Collin the night before. He said something that was not at all intended to hurt my feelings and he even apologized 100 times (even though he didn't need to) before bed, but I was still upset. And then I woke up feeling extra sad because we wouldn't be with family eating scalloped potatoes (or funeral potatoes, depending on if it would be a Smith or a Martin Easter), and we wouldn't be hunting for eggs, doing the egg-carton Easter activity, or attending church with our parents. And to top it all off, I had completely dropped the ball and there was no visit from The Easter Bunny, there were no new white shirts and ties for my boys to wear to church, there were no eggs dyed, no jelly beans delivered, and I was bummed.

We got ready for church and walked to church in 100% silence. Real mature, I know. We got to church and in walked all of the little children in perfectly pastel ensembles that I knew had been purchased just for this day. And not only was Nolan not festively dressed, he was also being an absolute rascal complete with temper tantrums, spitting, and crawling away from Dad and Mom at record speeds. Soon enough I had had it, so I took the walk of shame down that never-ending isle at church, holding my squirmy sweetheart, neither of us looking our best. I put Nolan in his stroller, corked him with a bottle, covered him with a blanket and that's all it took. He was sound asleep in a matter of seconds and for the first time all day I was able to sit, think, and ponder about this holiday we call Easter.

My thoughts started out focusing on my hardheartedness towards my husband, the least hardhearted person I know. Then they wandered into the realm of The Easter Bunny and his skipping over our house. And they ended up on me missing the opportunity to color coordinate my family's church-going outfits. This whole entire thought process took all of 30 seconds, and then I realized there was somebody standing at the front of the chapel talking about Easter. So I tuned in.

They were talking about the real meaning of Easter. That blessed day when Jesus Christ was risen, Resurrected, and alive yet again. He had brought with Him a promise of hope, of eternal happiness, of reunions and of life. And that's when I realized that I hadn't really missed Easter after all. There was still time.

I could still have the Easter my Savior would have preferred me to have in the first place. An Easter void of anger towards my husband. An Easter despite what we were or were not wearing. An Easter even without colorful eggs, candy, and marshmallow chicks. My own personal Easter of hope, happiness, and reunions. After the meeting ended, I waited for Collin to walk down that same isle Nolan and I had just traced, and as he approached me, we had a reunion. I apologized, he hugged me, and our marriage had some what of its own mini-resurrection. We spent the rest of the day together learning about Jesus Christ and what His life, death, and Resurrection means to us.

We went home after church to prepare our part of the dinner we'd be sharing with friends, and at Nolan's bedtime we left our house to join fellow family-less friends for an Easter dinner. We knew it was a risk taking Nolan out at his bedtime, but it was a risk worth taking. We slipped him into his most Easter-ish pajamas, threw on his trusty sock monkey hat, and had ourselves an enjoyable evening with good food, good friends, and good memories. And Nolan was well-behaved: a direct blessing from heaven.




{Nolan waiting at the bus stop, on our way to Easter dinner}

This Easter was the least traditional Easter I've ever had. But perhaps it was the Easter I learned the most. Nothing can, nor ever will replace a holiday with family, but I'm so grateful for good friends, and life lessons learned that teach me things I may not have learned when in my comfort zone of traditions and scalloped potatoes.

I hope you all had a great Easter as well. I know my Savior, Jesus Christ lives, and I'm grateful for the miracle that that is, and for what it means in my life. That I can try again each day, to make every day better than the day before.

Here's to a great Monday.

Happy Monday!

Calling All Fashionistas!

Happy Monday everyone! I hope you all had a phenomenal weekend. Ours was pretty wonderful. I checked off ALMOST everything from my list, plus I found the missing pair of jeans. Success!

Speaking of weekends, this weekend Collin and I have been invited to a fancy shmancy gala here in Chicago. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely excited!! But a gala? Me? In a fancy dress that cost more than $20 and isn't from Target? Holy scary, Batman. So this is where you come in. I really, really need help deciding what to wear. Thanks to a generous husband, and a tax return (hollah) I have been granted full permission to buy a new dress. (I see how that could have sounded like I live in a home where I only do things after I ask permission from Collin first. So not the case, but ya know, grad school doesn't exactly scream 'Buy new clothes'! So we discuss stuff like that.)

So, here are my guidelines:

dressy but not over the top (This is not the Oscars, or even Prom for that matter, at least I hope nobody shows up in anything like what I wore to Prom!)

modest (must have sleeves, fall below my knee, and show no cleavage)

less than $100

be purchasable in a store in Chicago since I waited way too last minute to order

and is preferably long enough to cover my legs, or would look cute with tights (these legs of mine haven't seen sun in ages)

Here are some thoughts I've had:


Ready. Set. GO! I'll take links, e-mails, comments, advice, suggestions, ANYTHING! I'm not a good shopper AT ALL, and so I'm kinda freaking out over here. The gala is on Friday, so ya know...the sooner the better. :)

Thanks in advance!

Happy Monday!

Dresses:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

A V-day Date

Our Valentine's celebration was too much fun. We met up with some friends for some delicious Asian food. After a really long internal debate, I settled on the cashew stir fry and I'm so glad I did. After dinner we headed to a movie. It ended up being a little too crude/inappropriate/offensive so we left early, but that did not at all put a damper on our evening. We had such a great time with such GREAT friends, and though we were glad to get back to little Nolan, it was pretty romantic going on a date with Collin, sans the bubba.



(Pictures at dinner taken by Celeste-thanks for sharing!)

I hope your V-day celebration was great, no matter how you spent it!

Happy Wednesday!

25 Days-Day 9

We've been doing The 25 Days of Christmas religiously and it has been so. much. fun.

One of my favorite days so far was day day 9. The card read:

"You better bundle up because it is going to be a White Christmas.
What else would you do on a winter's day, but go ICE SKATING in the park!
Come on, let's go!
Enjoy this merry day!"
So bundle up we did, and off we went to the rink.

We had such a good time. Thanks Love!

Merry Tuesday!

Goals For This Week

A few days ago Nolan had some food on his hands after dinner and so Collin took him over to the sink to wash him up. I was doing something on the computer and not paying much attention at all. But soon, I realized that the water was still running and that Nolan's hands should be plenty clean by now. I looked over to my sink and saw Nolan's pants getting DRENCHED. I immediately barked "Collin, his pants are getting wet" and Collin replied with "I know, and he's having fun". I was so confused that Nolan's pants were soaking wet and that Collin knew about it and wasn't preventing it, so I repeated, "No but his pants are really wet honey" and then Collin said, "then we'll put them in the washing machine when we're done!"

All of a sudden I snapped out of organized/strict/clean/boring Mom and with Collin's help realized that sometime you just have to get your pants wet, because you can always throw them in the wash.

I think sometimes I get so caught up in how things are supposed to be that I forget to have fun and play. This was especially true for me when it came to infertility. I was so caught up in not having a baby that I sometimes forgot to play with the kids that were around me, and I forgot that my husband is the biggest kid of all and playing with him makes anything better.

This week I'm going to try to let go of the things that are supposed to be and I'm going to try to let loose, have more fun, and remember that at the end of the day, it can all be thrown in the wash.

Happy Monday!

Happy Labor Day!

Yay for a day off! Well kind of a day off in our house. Coll still has a bunch of school work, and even a meeting to go to, but I plan on being in my pajamas all day long, and after Nolan's bath, instead of putting his jeans on him, I went for a pair of sweat shorts and a T. We're all about being comfy today.

Speaking of Labor Day, I'm still laboring on the new additions to My Spoiled Eggs. The sidebars are filling up and I LOVE IT!! There are so many supportive people out there and I'm so glad we're introducing ourselves to each other. So be sure to click on some of the new links and leave a comment or two on each others blogs.

And one last thing, thank you, thank you, thank you for your questions, your success stories, your happy lists, your blog links and buttons, and your support. You are all absolutely INCREDIBLE! You're not off the hook yet though! Keep those questions, stories, and happy lists coming. And don't forget to send me your link if you want to be linked-up on My Spoiled Eggs!

Be sure to check back this week for our first round of the aforementioned Happy Lists, Success Stories, QandA sessions, and....A GIVEAWAY!! I'm FINALLY back on the giveaway train after being gone for so long. This is going to be a good week! Enjoy your day off and I'll see you back here tomorrow!

Happy Monday!

Today on 2899016 + 3 see the Many Faces of Nolan

Pregnancy, Infertility, Adoption

Even after we were "diagnosed" with infertility, I would have months where I was sure I was pregnant. I would wait until I was sure I wasn't just late, and then I'd take a pregnancy test. Of course, they all said no, negative, horizontal line, etc. I was never really surprised, but I was always heart broken.

This was an ongoing cycle, and about every 2-3 months I'd think I was pregnant.

Then we met Kenz, found out that little Nolan would be joining our family, and I was sure the pregnancy feelings would go away, and in fact I hoped they would, because we knew Nolan was meant to be in our family and I was afraid that if I got pregnant, the adoption wouldn't go through.

Then Nolan came home with us, and 2 months later, here we are today. And my every few months cycle is back in full force. All week I've been feeling pregnant (as if I even know what that means), and all week I've avoided a pregnancy test. Let me be clear, I know I am not pregnant. Let me repeat for those who might be skimming, I AM NOT PREGNANT. Moving on. It's been interesting to have the pregnancy symptoms while having a little guy attached to my hip. It's a totally different feeling. Don't get me wrong, I will always, always, always long to be pregnant and carry a child within me. What's different is my perception of the result.

I know without a doubt that when/if I get pregnant and give birth to a child that there will be no difference in that child and Nolan. None. And that is reassuring.

In fact, the other day somebody said to me, (and I quote)
"I just know someday you'll have one of your own".

and boy was I offended. What's Nolan? Not my own? Wrong. He's totally my own! And Collin's own. And Kenz's own. And most importantly God's own. But certainly my own! And how grateful I am for that feeling, that no matter what happens, if I ever get pregnant or not, Nolan is ours, and any future babies will be ours, whether they come via my womb or the womb of somebody else.

And that, my friends, is the miracle of pregnancy, infertility, and adoption.

Happy Friday.

Baby Nolan

I've been surprised at how much I love being a mom. I knew I would love it, and I anticipated being over the moon, but I never imagined that I would love every minute of it. Boy do I though. I love his smiles. I love when he "talks" to us. I love when I catch Collin and Nolan having a man-to-man. I love waking up in the middle of the night to feed the bubba. I love that he cries sometimes when I put him down and that sometimes he just needs to be held. I love that on the other hand he's great at being little Mr. Independent. I love taking naps with him. I love that he knows who I am. I love that he knows his daddy. I love that he looks enough like Makenzie and enough like Collin to constantly remind me of the miracle that Kenz gave us, and the miracle that God gave us.

All in all, I just love him.






Happy Thursday!

Happy Fathers Day

I'm so grateful that Collin gets to celebrate Fathers Day as a daddy this year. Happy Fathers Day to my brothers, brothers in law, my daddy, my father in law, my grandpas, and all the other dads out there.

It's A Felony To Be This Cool

I thought I'd share Nolan's birth announcement. Somebody said it was cheesy.
Collin's response was "new dad=extra cheesy".

I agree. :) We're all cheese around here!

Happy Wednesday.

...and teach 'em how to dance...

This boy agreed to sing with me at my senior recital. We sang "You and I" by Ingrid Michaelson. He rocked it. Video to come.


I love him.

Happy Wednesday!