Infertilty Does Not Mean...

It's definitely a teething toy, Ipod, binki, left over cinnamon roll and hot chocolate kind of morning at our house. And no, we don't own mugs in our house, so I take my cocoa in a florescent green kids cup, please and thank you.

We had a good weekend, and for me, it was filled with lots of reflection, and remembering. I found myself thinking about infertility more than I have, probably since little Nolan was born. I thought about what infertility means for me, as a mother. In my life, infertility means I may never know what it's like to carry a child in my womb. And in my life, infertility means I may never know what it's like to give birth. But infertility does not own me, and infertility does not mean I will never be a mother. And infertility doesn't mean you will never be a mother either.

Infertility does not mean I can't be happy.
Infertility does not mean I won't be able to love.
Infertility does not mean my life will be full of heartache.
Infertility does not mean I am incapable of anything.
Infertility does not mean I am worthless.
Infertility does not mean I am less than anybody else.
Infertility does not mean I am not a mother.

There was an incredible talk given at General Conference this weekend. I will share it with you all later in the week, even though I'm sure lots of you already heard it. It was marvelous and just reminded me that there are lots of ways to be a mother. I'm so grateful for little Nolan in our lives. He's proof to me that miracles happen and that infertility does not mean you will never be a mother.

Happy Monday!

Five Weeks and Counting

Time is going by so fast.



Baby boy is due 5 weeks from Sunday. Five weeks! I've never been more excited, apprehensive, or worried about anything in my life. Being a mom is a really big deal and between Collin's parents and my parents, we have some really big shoes to fill! I feel so unprepared and so anxious.

But then, when I take a minute to rock in my rocking chair, and pretend like I'm cradling baby boy, I get this feeling that everything will be okay, and I know it will be. A lot of things will be different, but everything will be okay.

I'm sure I'll put a diaper on wrong at least once a day
I'm sure I'll forget to give baby enough tummy time
I'm sure I'll be stumped as to why he's crying more often than not
I'm sure I'll get frustrated, scared, and sad

But I'm also sure of 100 other things, like

I know I'll never forget to give baby enough kisses
I know I'll never forget to read baby stories before bed
I know I'll never let a day go by without telling baby I love him
I know I'll never hold baby without being so grateful he's ours

I'm so grateful for adoption, and am so excited to be a mom. Yesterday I had some flashback feelings, and I was stuck in a moment of "what if I'm never a mom" and my little heart broke. I was so thankful to come back to reality and realize that thanks to Kenz, I'm going to be a mommy. In real life! I'm really going to be a mommy! And Collin's going to be a daddy. What a miracle.

Happy Friday everyone.

Have a wonderful weekend!