Friday, April 15, 2011

Five Weeks and Counting

Time is going by so fast.

Baby boy is due 5 weeks from Sunday. Five weeks! I've never been more excited, apprehensive, or worried about anything in my life. Being a mom is a really big deal and between Collin's parents and my parents, we have some really big shoes to fill! I feel so unprepared and so anxious.

But then, when I take a minute to rock in my rocking chair, and pretend like I'm cradling baby boy, I get this feeling that everything will be okay, and I know it will be. A lot of things will be different, but everything will be okay.

I'm sure I'll put a diaper on wrong at least once a day
I'm sure I'll forget to give baby enough tummy time
I'm sure I'll be stumped as to why he's crying more often than not
I'm sure I'll get frustrated, scared, and sad

But I'm also sure of 100 other things, like

I know I'll never forget to give baby enough kisses
I know I'll never forget to read baby stories before bed
I know I'll never let a day go by without telling baby I love him
I know I'll never hold baby without being so grateful he's ours

I'm so grateful for adoption, and am so excited to be a mom. Yesterday I had some flashback feelings, and I was stuck in a moment of "what if I'm never a mom" and my little heart broke. I was so thankful to come back to reality and realize that thanks to Kenz, I'm going to be a mommy. In real life! I'm really going to be a mommy! And Collin's going to be a daddy. What a miracle.

Happy Friday everyone.

Have a wonderful weekend!