Thursday, July 28, 2011

Guest Post-Heather and James

When Heather offered to guest post, I took some time to read her blog and "get to know" her husband and her. They are incredibly strong, optimistic people who see infertility the way I wish I always saw it. They have such a strong sense of God and His role in infertility and that's something I really relate to and appreciate. Do yourself a favor and read Heather's words..and then tomorrow come back to hear from her husband. You won't be sorry.

Visit their blog HERE.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy For Others

You know, James and I never really told a lot of people that we were unable to have children. We weren’t ashamed, we are just private people. James’ favorite thing was actually to tell people (especially people at church) that we just don’t want kids because they are a nuisance. He found their reactions to be entertaining… Surprisingly enough, a lot of people don’t even ask. But every now and then someone will get brave and ask us why we don’t have kids; I’ve always been truthful and just told them that we haven’t been able to. Sometimes they look as if I had dropped a bomb on them and they become immediately apologetic. That’s the only time I ever feel uncomfortable. I don’t really like to feel pitied because it may end up in me feeling sorry for myself! And who needs that? There is no need to feel sorry for me and there is definitely no need to tip toe around the subject because of me!

The fact of the matter is…I love babies! Some women struggling with infertility tend to become overly sensitive when anyone talks about babies or when someone they know becomes pregnant. I must admit that when this all began over 5 years ago, I was probably guilty of the same thing. Luckily, I’ve grown up. I realized that I have no right to ever begrudge someone their happiness. When I do finally get pregnant, I expect the entire world to rejoice with me. So it only makes sense that every other mommy-to-be should have the same rejoicing! I am excited for my friends and family when they are expecting. I won’t lie and say that there is no small pang in my heart but I can honestly say that I do not begrudge anyone their happiness. I want to be just as happy for them as I expect them to be for me someday.

The worst things you can do are wallow in your own misery and try to bring those around you down. Be happy for other people. Rejoice in their rejoicing! It’s ok to be sad sometimes but it’s not ok to be angry at someone for doing the same thing that you yourself would do if you had the opportunity. We are all given our lots in life and we must make the best of what we have. I remember a favorite quote of mine from when I was in high school, “I want to be the girl who always smiled, the girl who could always brighten your day even if she couldn’t brighten her own,” (Author Unknown). When it all boils down, you are a lot happier with yourself when you are happy for others. By breeding hate and jealousy you only end up making yourself miserable. Be happy for others and be happy with yourself just the way you are. The Lord wouldn't do it if it weren't going to be the absolute best thing for you.