Wednesday, February 2, 2011

And I Thought This Was Going So Well

I'd rather be poked in the eye with a pool cue than to feel embarrassed.
I HATE it.
I hate that my face turns red and no matter how much I tell my brain to tell my body to turn my face back to a normal color, it usually remains a lovely shade of crimson for a good 10 minutes.
I hate that silly things embarrass me.
I hate that when I feel embarrassed my heroic self-confidence can't just jump in and save the day.
I hate that when I feel embarrassed I want to go home, crawl in bed, and sleep until I've forgotten what happened.
I hate that today I got embarrassed.
C accidentally took my debit card and my license with him to work today.
No biggie, I thought, because I had no plan of spending money today.
Then, it got really cold and potato soup and cornbread was in order for dinner, and I was inconveniently out of potatoes.
I remembered that I didn't have a debit card and we were that close to having frozen pizza for dinner until I realized that I'm a big girl now and I have checks.
So I proudly pounced my way to Safeway (illegally mind you, without my license and all) and I even did some research on the way.
I called Safeway's most valued, and most frequent customer, my mother, and confirmed with her that they do indeed take checks.
My research went even further though when I double-checked with a cashier up front, and he solidified it, we were having potato soup for dinner.
I started to walk towards the potatoes when I had a sudden feeling of liberation and realization.
I have checks, and they won't hit the bank for at least 2 days, probably 3, so essentially I can buy whatever I want, write a check, and not have to think about where that money is coming from for a good 2 days.
I got a cart.
Though I had temptations and thoughts of filling my cart to the brim, I settled on the bare necessities and some half and half to make the soup that much better.
I marched my way up to the same cashier who gave me the go-ahead on the checks, ya know, just to be safe, and I unloaded the goods.
This was a good day.
He rang me up, my total was 30 something, then I typed my mom's phone number into the electronic box and now it was only 20 something (thanks mom) and I wrote what had to be only my 10th check ever.
Then, the cashier guy put my check in the cool slidey thing and it shot out the other end (just like it does with my mom's checks) and I was in business!
Except I wasn't.
The cashier then said "may I see some ID".
Then my brain said "hey Ashlee's face, turn red".
The rest is all a blur.
But I ended up leaving a full cart of groceries in the middle of the check out isle and saying something witty and clever in attempt cover up my embarrassment and I bolted.
Then I sat in the car and fought back tears while I texted C and tried to make him feel bad for taking my debit card and ID. Except it's totally not his fault that he took it, so then I felt bad.
And then I came home and debated....I could either crawl in bed (the option I REALLY wanted) or I could blog about this so I could read it tomorrow and laugh.
(Also so I could call my mother and tell her to read it.)
Hi Mom.

Moral of the story?
There are several.
#1. Safeway doesn't take checks unless you have ID or have previously written a check there.

#2. Getting embarrassed blows and it happens a lot. Especially with infertility, but crawling in bed isn't necessarily the best option, just the nicest one.

#3. Always have potatoes on hand. Always.

#4. Be rich so if somebody in front of you in the check out line needs help paying for their groceries, you can step up and save a red face.

#5. Keep your license and debit card on your person at all times, not in your car.


Happy Wednesday. Mostly.