Monday, October 15, 2012

Big Boy

Last night as I was lying in bed my brain would not slow down, much less power off so I could get some sleep. I was awake for at least 2.5 hours after I got in bed, and I was starting to get a little restless. It was just then that I heard a little noise from the room right next to me where my little Nolan was sleeping. It was just a brief little sound that really resembled Collin when he talks in his sleep, and I realized talking in his sleep was exactly what Nolan was doing. At first it struck me as odd because Nolan can say a few words like, please, thank you, mama dadda, diaper, ball, dog, etc. but he certainly doesn't speak in sentences (unless he REALLY wants something, in which case he says 'please' and 'thank you' one right after the other to prove his ultimate politeness). And for a minute I lingered in the weirdness of my 1 year old talking in his sleep until I realized, it's actually not that weird. After all he is a person, and a person's a person, no matter how small. He has thoughts, desires, dreams, goals, and in his own way he has conversations. And that's all he was doing, having a conversation.

It was just a good (and a little bit sad) realization for me that the little baby I'm raising is more than a baby. He is a human being. He's not my trophy for having conquered infertility that one time. He's not my side-kick, he's my main event. And just because he can't always express what he's thinking and feeling, doesn't mean he isn't thinking and feeling just like I am, and do.

My little baby isn't a baby anymore. He's a big boy, he's MY big boy. That is kind of weird. But mostly awesome. :)