This is difficult. Sitting down to write my feelings and experiences with infertility. I usually try to NOT do the talking on this subject. When I let her do the talking I do not have to pay attention to or explore my own thoughts and feelings. I have rather enjoyed listening and sympathizing rather than talking and empathizing.
I thought devastating things like finding out that I do not have the stuff it takes to make kids would be a whole lot more... devastating. From the view point of natural selection, I am simply an inferior being and will, in one lifetime, be eradicated. From the view point of a gambler, I got dealt a bad hand. From the view point of Christianity, I have been given a trial. From my view point my body does not work perfectly right now and that will only make my spirit stronger.
I found that I slightly agree with this article on blogher.com... that trying to have a baby is much like trying to find a spouse. Finding Ash took me five years and was well worth the wait. So, why would adding another member to our family be any quicker. I guess what I am trying to say is that disappointment and heartache most often come from unmet expectations. And to be completely honest, I did not have any thought out or well laid plans about how and when I would have children with my spouse. Now that we are seeking to bring a child into our family through adoption, it seems natural and normal. It is very exciting because of all the unknowns. Who will this child be? Who will the birth mother be? How long will it take? How much will it cost? When do we start buying baby clothes and preparing the nursery? How do I help Ash with all of this? Will our child end up looking like this?
Do we let our kid wear things like this?
Now I will let Ash do the talking...