Thursday, January 14, 2010

In His Hands

Today I stumbled across a blog of a sister of a friend of a friend, etc. and as I scrolled down and read her last few posts I found myself reading about an attempt she made to give in vetro a shot. It was clear that this was not her first try, and clearly if she was having to try again, the first attempt or attempts must not have been successful. This last try that she wrote about wasn't either. They implanted 2 eggs, and neither of them took. She wrote about the heartbreak and about being too nervous to answer the dr.'s phone call so she just let it go to voicemail, only to have to listen to a disappointing message. As I read that I couldn't help but realize that there is a huge chance, even after we save and pray and work and exercise and do in vetro, that it won't work. There's no guarantee. At least not with in vetro. But what I have learned is that there is one thing that is ALWAYS guaranteed. And this my friends is the love and the will of God. If He is ready for you, me, or anybody else to get pregnant, it'll happen. But if He's not, it won't. I know that sounds harsh, but truth be told, it gives me comfort. Because I know that when He wants me to get pregnant, I will. And when that happens I will be 100% confident that it is what He wants. And that, I think, will be the best feeling ever! Maybe I'll never get pregnant. Maybe His plan is for me to adopt. But the same thing holds true, when we adopt I will be confident and sure that it was His will. I can't help but hurt for the sweet girl whose blog I ran across, but in a strange way I am happy for her. Because God wasn't ready for her to get pregnant, so she didn't, and nothing feels better than being a part of what God wants. Most days. :)