Wednesday, October 3, 2012

It Is What It Is

(photo taken with a few of my favorite girls after a fun photo shoot)
Life has been pretty raw lately. What I mean by that is that with the passing of my dad, instead of things feeling like a dream (though, they did for the first few days) things have been feeling especially real, very earthy, very cut and dry, and obvious. Hard things are hard. Happy things are happy. And everything has just been so black and white.

My dad is gone. It's as simple as that. I know where he is, I know what he's doing, and I know he is close. Simple as that.

I am a mom. I am responsible for another human being. I'm responsible for his safety and for his full tummy when he goes to bed. And I'm responsible for his happiness. That has become so much clearer to me. I always knew it, but it's really become more real to me. I'm a mom.

My body is sacred. It houses my spirit and it is what keeps me here on Earth to be Collin's wife and Nolan's mom, and I'm not taking very good care of it. I eat way too much crap, and I don't exercise nearly enough. It's my job to take care of my body, and I am more aware of that now than ever.

Even though my body isn't as healthy as I want it to be, I am still beautiful.

Salt will always make any food taste better. My mom rocks. Laughter is the best medicine. Being away from Collin stinks. Good friends are irreplaceable. Some things will happen no matter what, other things I can control, I should probably only worry about the ones I can control. Even an old, wrinkly 20 dollar bill, is still worth $20.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is true. 

A good dose of reality has been hard, but so good for me, and I'm so grateful that my reality is good and full of good people.