Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Thank You That Won't Do Justice

Nobody ever told me we'd fall in love with our birth mom as much as we'd fall in love with our son.

Nobody ever told me that the joy that comes from holding your baby in your arms is almost equally matched by the pain that comes from walking away from somebody who just gave you the greatest gift of your life.

Nobody ever told me that every time our baby scrunches up his little face, smiles in his sleep, opens his mouth for a yawn, or takes his first bath we'd want to take a picture and send it to his birth mommy, but that we'd have to stop ourselves so we don't make her pain any worse.

Nobody ever told me that "thank you" could never be enough.

I wish there was a more powerful, meaningful, deep way to say it, but "thank you" is all I know.

"Thank you" is all I could mutter to Makenzie as I saw our son for the first time.
"Thank you" is all I could say as she walked away from our son.
"Thank you" is all I can think every time I look into his eyes.
"Thank you" is all I can say every time I kneel and pray.

And though it's not much, I will say "thank you" in my heart, for Makenzie every day.

She is our hero. She is the giver of our most beautiful gift. She is and forever will be the birth mother of our son. She is beautiful. She is smart. She is wise. She is kind. She is tender. She is brave. She is selfless. She is a friend. She is a sister. She is a daughter. She is a mom.

Makenzie, thank you.