Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tuesday Tells-Perspective Of An Adopted Child

First of all, thanks for Bruce for posting yesterday-weren't his graphs hysterical? He's so fun. Secondly, don't forget to enter the giveaway. Today's the last day! And lastly, I'm so excited to introduce you to our guest poster today. He was adopted 35 years ago, and has the perspective of somebody we often don't hear from. I'm really thrilled for you to all read his story, partly because it's awesome, and partly because he's my brother. Without further delay, here's my brother Michael, and his story.


My sister has asked that I write a few of my thoughts on the subject of adoption. This is the first time I have had this privilege and as such, my thoughts are a little scattered...hence, I will apologize now if this isn't very clear.

I have the unique opportunity of being the oldest of 5 children. I also have the unique opportunity of being adopted. I grew up in a home that believed in openness and love...I have always known that I was adopted and have never been treated any differently than any of my brothers or sister...ok, any more than any other oldest child. I have been blessed with the unique knowledge that even though I was born to a "birth mother", my "mom" is and always will be my adopted mother. This has never been questioned in my mind. I believe that it is a gift from God to have this knowledge because I know that this process is difficult for some adopted children. This being said, I love my "birth mother and father"...whoever they are. They made what I assume to be one of the most difficult decisions in their life. I honor them for their foresight and ability to follow the Spirit, in knowing that they could not provide the life for me that they knew that I would need. Being a father of 3, I can't imagine the pain and suffering that they went through in doing what is right. As this was a closed adoption (the only kind back then), I have not been in contact with them and I know nothing about them at this time. I do look forward to meeting them in the next life and expressing my appreciation to them both.

I had the opportunity to be speaking in a Sacrament meeting once and was discussing my adoption. I can remember watching a woman in the audience crying almost uncontrollably. I knew her fairly well and couldn't imagine why she was crying so much as I was relaying my story. It turns out that she had given up a son for adoption many years ago and I was blessed to spend some time with her after the meeting as she shared her story with me. From this experience, I can share with you a knowledge that these mothers are wonderful people that they love their children and are willing to make this huge sacrifice to provide them with a better life. This woman has moved on with her life and was married and had other children. It does get easier and life goes on. Even though these women are hurting, the children are blessed.

I know that God allows things to happen to bless our lives. Sometimes, it is not the most ideal circumstances that we find ourselves in...especially if we have made mistakes. However, another child of our Heavenly Father should never suffer due to our mistakes. Just a note on abortion...it is murder except in a very few instances...period. I would not be here if that option were chosen.

I want to express my love to my Father and Mother. They have always loved me as their own. I hope that I can live up to their expectations of me...I have a long way to go. There are many people that for some reason are not blessed with the ability to have children. The most loving thing that can be done for both them and a child born into unfavorable circumstances is for them to be united.